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What do you call postman pat when he has retired?
Pat!
From Charlotte - age 9
Why can't Cinderella play football? - She keeps running away from the ball.
from Kate - age 12
A man walks into a bar ... - Ouch!
from Andrea
What do you get if you cross a lawn mower with a canary? - Shredded tweet!
from Andrea and Sarah (no age given so you can make your own estimates!)
There was an Englishman,an Irishman and Scotsman. One day they were walking in the desert ,when they were suddenly captured by bandits. They were just about to shoot the Englishman when he said look! water, they looked round and he ran. Then they were just about to shoot him when he said look! volcano, they looked round and he ran off. Then they were just about to shoot him and he said fire!! and they shot him.
from Jonathan - age 12
What's the difference between bogeys and sprouts? - Kids don't eat sprouts.
How do you make a gorilla cross? - Nail two gorillas together.
Why do elephants paint the bottoms of their feet yellow? - So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard.
How many elephants can you get in a mini? - Four, two in the front and two in the back.
from Mary - age 15
What is brown and sticky? - A stick.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk
from Stuart - age 12
What is green and hairy and goes up and down? - A gooseberry in a lift.
from Jasmine - age 10
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Old Jokes (some VERY old!)
Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 7 8 9 !
from Richard - age 33!
What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers? - A nervous wreck
from Mary - age 9
Knock Knock. - Who's there? Tom. - Tom who? - Tomato Soup............
What lies in a cot and wobbles? - A Jelly Baby!
What's a ghosts favourite party game? - Haunt and Seek!
What do you call a man sitting on the doorstep? - Mat!
Doctor Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains! - Pull yourself together!
Where do sheep go for haircuts? - To the Baa-Baa shop!
all from Sherry - now aged 49
What do you get if you put boiling water down a rabbit hole ?
A hot cross bunny !
What did the Jelly Fish say to the Prawn ? Where's that six quid you owe me (sick squid)
Sherry - age 48 !! (oh dear)
"Fish and chips twice". "I heard you the first time!"
Anna - age 15
Knock knock - Who's there? Boo. - Boo who? - Don't cry it's only a joke
from Jasmine - age 10
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill!
What's black and white and goes ha ha?
The penguin that pushed it!
What's yellow and dangerous? -
Shark infested custard.
from Stuart - age 12
Mummy biscuit and baby biscuit were walking down the road, baby biscuit ran into the road and got run over - what did mummy biscuit say? Oh Crumbs!
from Julie - age 14
